April 12, 2024

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:6-8

I have lost a lot of people. Death comes to call on all of us. I have lost: my spouse, friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, my dad, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. So here’s my two cents on death…

I wish I could tell you that you should get used to people dying. But I never did. And quite frankly I don’t want to! It tears a big, gaping hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But, I do not want it to “not matter”. I do not want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testimony to the love & the relationship that I had for & with that person. And if the scar is deep, then so was the love & that is how it should be.

As for the grief you feel; well that comes in waves. It is like when a ship is first wrecked, you are drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty of the ship that was, & is no more. All you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. That wreckage might be some physical thing like a shirt or photograph or maybe a happy memory or maybe it is a person who is also floating along with you! For a while, all you can do is float, just to stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves seemed like they were 100 feet tall and they crash over you without mercy. They seem come every 10 seconds and do not even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you will find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but now they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what is going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, the smell of a food. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing in. But in between waves, there is life. Not like it was before but there is life and for the most part is it good.

Somewhere forward in time, and it is different for everybody, you find that the waves are only maybe 50 feet tall. But still they come, but they come farther apart and now you can see them coming. It may be an anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or even the birth of a child, but you can see it coming, for the most part, and you can prepare yourself for when it washes over you. You understand that it is coming and you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side; soaking wet, sputtering, but still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage and you have again survived.

Take it from an this old person who has been there. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you do not really want them to. Because as long as they come it means you still remember the love you had and lost. But you learn that you can and do survive them. It has been has been many long years & still the waves come. If you are lucky, you will have lots of scars from lots of loves and lots of shipwrecks. That’s life!

Oh one last important thing to remember is God is with you thru each wreck & wave. Because you are His child and He loves you.
Prayers—Father, Thank you for the loves you put in our lives. Thank you for always being there to guides us thru the shipwrecks we encounter in our lives. Thank you for comforting us thru the grief and pain of death. Thank you for helping us to hang on. Help us to remember that someday we will meet again all of those who have gone one before us. Thank you for your unconditional love. Amen.

the Church Mouse
Work Hard, Pray Harder