A Marion County traffic stop took an unexpected scenic detour on September 19 when a suspected drunk driver showed that a night out and basic math skills don’t always make a great combination.
According to deputies, Sgt. Boatwright pulled Sean Grubbs over after watching him treat the road like a pinball machine—swerving between lanes, cutting off one driver, nearly hitting another, and taking several blocks to realize the flashing blue lights behind him were meant for him.
Cpl. Robert Young then stepped in to conduct a DUI check. Young quickly noticed the familiar signs: bloodshot, watery eyes, slurred speech, and legs that seemed to have stopped taking instructions from the brain.
Naturally, it was time for the field sobriety exercises.
Cpl. Young gave Grubbs a straightforward assignment: walk nine steps forward in a straight line, turn around, and walk nine steps back. Simple, right? Grubbs apparently thought nine steps was far too modest. Instead, he marched through 25 full paces, turned around, stared at the road ahead, and seemingly decided the return trip wasn’t worth the effort.
When asked to run through the alphabet, Grubbs admitted that he “couldn’t remember his ABCs.” He also said he simply “didn’t have the ability to take his foot off the ground,” effectively ruling himself out of the walking portion of the evening.
Grubbs was taken to jail and charged with DUI and refusing to submit to a breath test. This wasn’t his first encounter with the same charges, either. Records show he had previously been convicted of both offenses.
Deputies used the traffic stop as a reminder that “I’m fine to drive” can quickly become “I have killed someone.” Their message was clear: If you’ve already forgotten the alphabet by midnight, calling an Uber is probably the better choice.
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